Things Prototype Characters Would NEVER Say
by Ryu Katsumi
Summary: Title says it all, no flames, no bad reviews. I was bored and wanted to make this since no one had done it, chapter 3 is up. Note: won't upload chapter 4 until middle of June, I think...
1. Chapter 1

**Me: So, I was browsing one of my favorite Anime in one of its own website (Heart of Madness) and saw something called 'Things HnK characters would never say' and the same goes to Naruto, Bleach, etc. So I wanted to try it on Prototype, if it sucks, just review and tell me, it doesn't matter.**

**I don't own any $h!t...**

* * *

Dana: *Enters her room with a cat food* Kitty kitty, where are you? I bought your favorite yum! Kitty?

Alex: *Appears* Huh? Do you need something, sister?

Dana: Yeah, where's that little cat I brought it yesterday? The blonde kitty, I just purchased a cat foot for it.

Alex: *Blinks* Uuuhhhhhhhh, I didn't see it, I think I should buy some pizza...

Dana: YOU ATE MY CAT? AGAIN!?

Alex: What? It was very yummy.

Dana: Well, EVERY ANIMAL IS ALWAYS DELICIOUS WHAT DA FUQ!

Alex: No! There is, the DIRTY animals!

Dana: If that does so, then why do you eat a rat? You did that a week ago. You said it was damn delicious!

Alex: Uuummmmmm *Runs away*

Dana: *Sighs* Why do I have such an always hungry brother...*Facepalm*

* * *

Alex: Today is the day, that all of you people will see my true hair! *Grabs his hoodie*

Everyone: FINALLY! *All of them grab their cameras, ready to capture and make videos*

Alex: Okay *Pulls off his hoodie*

Everybody else: YEA-Wait, what the?

Alex: See? Another hoodie is covering my head ^_^

Everybody else: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

* * *

Elizabeth Greene: It's time for you to be dead, ALEX! *Creates some hunters*

Alex: Wait a minute; did you just summon all Infections in one turn?

Greene: Um, yeah, so?

Alex: Isn't that against the rules?

Greene: Screw the rules! I have an infected army!

Kaiba (from Yu-Gi-Oh!): Hey! That's my joke! It's very funny when I mention it! It loses all meaning when you yell!

Greene: Who the hell are you? I said this on my own! *Inserts a super flying move* Go to your Japanese cartoons world! Brown bowl head!

Kaiba: *Flies away* NOOOOOOOOOO! Screw the rules! I have money!

* * *

Alex: So, where the hell is that Heller? *Looks at someone at the dark* what the hell man, I just killed you in the last mission ago.

James: WTF? I'm not Cross!

Alex: Oh wait *Makes eyes glow a little red* Oh it's you, sorry I forgot to insert my red glowing eyes, ^_^ *Eyes start glowing red even more and more bright* are you ready?

James: OH SHIT, A SHARINGAN! GET IN THE CAR! *Jumps off the bridge*

Alex: Sharingan? O_o

* * *

Dana: *Gets kidnapped by one of Elizabeth leader hunters* ALEEEEEXX! I'M SCARED!

Alex: Fuck Dana! She didn't do anything to let me keep myself a good guy! Let the shit eats her!

Dana: Oh yeah? Then who's going to make you a sandwich?

Alex: Kar-

Dana: Karen never entered the kitchen in her lifetime. -_-

Alex: ...WAIT FOR ME, SISTAR!

* * *

James: I'm hungry, I could eat... a child *Looks at Amaya*

Amaya: Uh, um, MEOW!

* * *

Alex: I destroy lots of bitches.

James: I destroy more bitches and rule.

Greene: I make everything Infected by just touching it, and can summon thousands of army.

Alex & James: ...

James: At least she didn't mention that ugly huge shitty annoying thing she was controlling before Mercer ate her...

* * *

Karen: *Talking to Alex* Is Cross gay?

Alex: Don't move or I'll kick!

Captain Cross: I DON'T HAVE FUCKING B**BS!

* * *

James: I will murder you, Mercer.

Alex: And then?

James: And then I will avenge Luis Guerra and my wife.

Alex: And then?

James: And then I will use your memory by consuming you and find Amaya and your sister.

Alex: And then?

James: And then I will destroy BlackWatch and Gentek.

Alex: And then?

James: And then I will destroy the Infections.

Alex: And then?

James: And then I will protect the innocents who are in danger.

Alex: And then.

James: Grrrr~ And then I will live my life with Amaya peacefully.

Alex: And then?

James: FUCKING NO AND THEN!

Alex: And then?

James: NO AND THEN!

Alex: ... And theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen? *smirks*

James: I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU MERCER! *Attacks without thinking*

Alex: *Uses red eyes/Sharingan and dodges it and hits him in the back*

James: Owwwww, *fells and feels the pain*

Alex: And then?

James: Well, fuck you too...

* * *

Alex: I can't believe I have become an emo at the end of Prototype 1 *sobs* I'M A FAILURE! * sobs sobs sobs sobs sobs sobs sobs sobs sobs sobs*

* * *

BlackWatch fags: Look! It's Zeus! They would reward us with more than 100 thousand dollars if we ever capture him!

Alex: *Turns to their faces* You people may think I'm him, but this is _Altair! _^_^

BW: GET HIIIIIMM!

Alex: ORORORORORORORO! _ *Dodges*

ALEX VS BLACK WATCH MAGGOTS! (Pokémon mode)

Black Watch used LAUNCHER! It's SUPER effective!

Alex used SPEED! Black Watch's attack has been dodged!

Black Watch: NOOOOOO!

Alex: *Makes claws in his hands* MWAHAHAHAHA!

Alex used GROUNDSPIKE! It's SUPER effective!

Black Watch used normal roll over, not very effective, only one survived!

Alex: Hmph, *one of his hands transformed in to a WhipFist* DIE DIE DIEEEEEE!

Alex used LONGSHOT GRAB! It's SUPER effective!

BlackWatch (1) used RUN RUN RUN! Not very effective, nothing happened, BlackWatch soldier can't escape!

Alex: *Grabbing the soldier with WhipFist* Time to eat.

BlackWatch: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Alex used CONSUME! It's SUPER UNBLOCKABLE (only when it's attacked by launchers) effective! Alex WON!

Alex: Heh, I gave those bitches a GroundSpike, bitches love GroundSpike, and to that shit, I gave him a VERY delicious consumes, he loves delicious consume *walks away like a badass boss* Vermin, vermin everywhere...

* * *

Elizabeth Greene: Behold my TRUE power! *Summons and summons more than thousands of army*

Alex: Bitch please, HELLER!

James: Okay.

Greene: What are you going to do with them? I can make as much as the Earth!

Alex & Heller: *Standing with one leg and in far distance* Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

Greene: Huh?

Alex & Heller: Siiiiioooooooooonnnn-

Greene: Dafaq?

Alex & Heller: HAAAAAAA! *They put their index finger on eachother, their bodies started to glow and never been seen*

Greene: WHAT DA FAQ!?

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM!

?: I am neither Alex NOR James, I. Am. JELEX HERCER!

Greene: RETREAT! *Runs away abandoning her troops*

* * *

James: *Returns from killing people and is holding a pizza* What's up, sweet-pea?

Amaya: D-daddy, I just did a horrible thing...

James: What? What is it?

Amaya: Holds an Assault Rifle* I killed a person from the police...

James: Amaya... I LOVE YOU MY DAUGHTER! *Hugs her* YOU'RE LEARNING SO MUCH FROM YOUR DADDY YAAAYY! Now let's eat this pizza! I brought your favorite juice!

* * *

Alex: Okay, guys, we need to add more events for Prototype 2, adding new characters and bitches and making me evil and other things aren't enough.

Random guy: Give the main character your own hoodie?

Random woman: Reveal your hair?

Lazy guy: Removing Karen Parker?

Alex: *Staring at the lazy guy in a creepy angry way*

Alex: *Throws the Random guy and woman* Your idea is amazing! *Thumbs up*

Lazy guy: *Thumbs up too*

* * *

Heller: *Holding Alex's collar* You are dead MEAT! Mercer!

Alex: I know what you mean, you will consume me. -_-

James: Duh! Of course I will! And when I do, I will be the world's new POWERFUL Virus! An unbeatable God, I will be Prototype's new star!

Alex: You really think I give a shit? My legend will never be forgotten because of my adventures with the player -_-

James: That's a point *Throws him off* Better kill myself instead. *Kills himself using the Blade power*

* * *

Alex: *While drinking a sake or a whisky or a glass of vodka* I don't always stay in the alert, but when I do, a soldier FAR away calls the strike team and make my ass finally move. *Gets drunk and falls off the chair*

* * *

Alex: *Consumes Elizabeth Greene and feels so much power inside him*

Randall: Hmmm, he killed that bitch, how powerful is ZEUS, Cross?

Captain Cross: *Stares at him for a moment and gets shocked* IT'S OVER NINE THOUUUUUSSSAAANNNDDDDDDDD!

* * *

Alex: TAGAAAAAARRRTT!

Captain Cross: Shit man, he's running off with a helicopter, so far away...

Alex: Oh yeah? Fine! *Hand on his hand* Kaaaaammeeee- *Small air appears in his hands*

Cross: ?

Alex: Haaaaaammmeeeeeee- *The red-black colored Virus started appearing more and more*

Cross: Zeus?

Alex: HHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *Releases his hands, as the Virus goes right through Tagart's helicopter*

Cross: Wow *Tagart's helicopter is destroyed* Nice work, Zeus.

Alex & Cross: *Bro fist*

* * *

Alex: *Walks in the living room* Hm... *Sees Dana eating while the the TV is mute* Dana, is there something bothering you? The TV is mute, and it's on, then why not turning it off? Or you don't want me to listen to something awesome?

Dana: NONONONONONO! Don't bother about th-

Alex: *Turns off the mute* I wond-

TV: *On a high sound* OH BABY OH BABY OH BAAABBYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Alex: OUCH! *Puts hands on ears* WTF is this girly shit? *Looks at the screen* and a guy? Don't tell me he is a gay person and singing -_-

Dana: *Putting her hands on her ears too* I was watching So Random until they paused and show this guy, the sound was so loud until he sang and I mute it instead of fucking it.

Alex: I need to know where SHE is.

Dana: He is a real person...

Alex: NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Hits the ground* If only I was in the real world to save the innocent people, I'm sorry everyone, I can't get out of the Video Game world...

Dana: -_-'

* * *

Alex: *Returns from watching cinema*

Dana: Hey bro, how was the movie?

Alex: Dana, please don't tell anyone about my real name, especially my codename.

Dana: Uh, why?

Alex: I was watching Identity Thief, I am nervous, what if someone stole my name? What if he's having my life?

Dana: Alex...

Alex: Dammit, Dana! The name 'Alex' is both for a girl and a boy! Maybe even a woman is using that name! I'M SO SCARED!

Dana: *Facepalm* Why did I let him watch Identity Thief?

* * *

**Me: I know, it's bad -_- it's like a test and I took an F on it, but maybe some reviews can help a little? PLEASE? o^o I really want to know _ Because maybe I can do another fiction, see ya, oh, and please review my "Letters to Alex x Dana" Please! If you want them to answer or at least talk to you.  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Me: *Sobs sobs***

**Alex: *Sigh* What now? -_-**

**Me: HALF OF MY OTP IS F***ING DEAD! I'll be fine, JUST NOT TODAY. (OTP: One True Pairing)**

**Dana: Tomorrow?**

**Me: Next month or more, only if I find a new OTP which means NO, I'm too lazy to search for new ones, since my OTP is so cute... *Sobs*  
**

**Alex: Shit, whenever she's sad, she tortures us more and more.**

**Dana: True dat. -_-'**

* * *

Cross: Oh, I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel so pretty, witty and GAY! ^_^ **(Me: Sorry Cross I still love you)**

* * *

Alex: *After reading a book of Karate* Hmmm, let's see how this works *One of his hands are above as a thunder appears* O_O I, am, JESUS CHRIST! Oh wait, I am, THE NEW THOR!

Thor: Who the fuck invited you?

Alex: Sorry, but I think I'm the new Thor since I'm hotter than all of you combined, besides, you look like a muscular chick with a beard, I want to take your place.

Ironman: He's right, buddy, you are also getting old, I thi-

Thor: SCREW THE RULES! *Vanishes*

* * *

Alex: *Phone rings* Uh *Answers*

Unknown guy/woman: SEVEN DAYS!

Alex: Um, hello? I didn't hear you, this is Alex Mercer.

Unknown guy: Sorry, wrong number! *Closes the IPhone* Everything went better than expected :) *Suddenly IPhone rings* o_o *Answers* Helloooooooo?

Alex: 10 SECONDS!

UG: SHIT! *Runs to a hill and jumps, five seconds passed* I will not die by anyone! *3 seconds passed* HE WILL NEVER GET MEEEE! *Looks down and sees Alex with Claws* FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

Alex: *One of his Claws on the air to catch the unknown, and the unknown dies within exactly 10 seconds* I told you I will murder you in 10 seconds, you gay fag bitch.

* * *

Dana: Hey Alex! I just killed an infect without a gun!

Alex: You mean with something else? What is it?

Dana: *Reveals Yoyos in her hands* TAADDDDAAAAAA!

Alex: Oh, where did you get these children game from? Toys o ros?

Dana: *Throws Yoyos at him*

Alex: OH SHIT KNIVES IN THE YOYOS RUN! *Breaks the wall and runs*

* * *

Director of Prototype: I'm gonna choose James Heller as the Successor of Prototype, Alex, Greene, Cross, Sabrina, you people are good Infections, BUT YOU GUYS ARE JUST TOO WHITE!

* * *

Alex: Hey Dana! Who's Slenderman?

Dana: *Shocked by Alex* YOU DON'T KNOW HIM?!

Alex: Nnnoooooooo ._.

Dana: Alex, no matter how non-feared of anything you are, you will always get frightened by Slenderman, he has no face, he fucking kills you when you see him, nobody has been courage enough to face him, he only appears in games, and shits your pants.

Alex: I want to try it.

Dana: *Gasp* OoO FINE BY ME! *Opens a Slenderman game* The Eight pages.

Alex: Seems legit. *Plays*

*5 Minutes later*

Alex: Yeah! 4 pages! ;D only half are left. Where's Slenderman? The music is playing but he still hasn't appeared yet. :l

Dana: I think it's now. *Looks at the screen with Alex, they saw Slenderman* OH SHIT, ALEX! TURN BACK BEFORE HE KILLS YOU!

Alex: Nah, I want to see what happens :D *The person gets killed when Slenderman's face approaches him* That's it? o_O I thought he would kill in more interesting way -_- Dana? *Nobody is behind him* Where are you, Dana? *Sees her in the corner* WTF happened to you? Don't tell me this game is giving you nightmares, don't you? -_-

Dana: IT IS SCARY! EVEN ELIZABETH GREENE AND CROSS FEAR HIM!

Alex: WHAT!? Don't tell me Heller fear him too, does he? O_O

Dana: No, he says it is funny when the scary music plays and the woman get killed. ._.

Alex: Ahaha! That's my buddy! ;D I knew he isn't scared of a non-existed non-face character! :D

Dana: *Thinking* _How on Earth can Alex and Heller aren't scared of Slenderman?_

Alex: You may think why I and Heller can stand up on that Slendy's face, well, that's because I am a powerful virus same as Heller, a fusion dance technique will make us one, and make us the most powerful virus, so... *Points his middle finger* Fuck yeah!

* * *

Amaya: NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN!

Heller: OUCH! What's all about this "Nyan"?

Amaya: It's a funny cool video called "Nyan Cat" who sings in a funny and cute way! :D

Heller: Let me see.

After 3 minutes and 37 seconds

Amaya: Sssoooooooooooo? :3

Heller: ...

Amaya: Daddy? o_O

Heller: ... NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN NYANYAN!

* * *

Alex: I will fight you face-to-face, Greene!

Greene: *Listening to a song and stops* Yes?

Alex: What are you listening to?

Greene: One Direction's: I WANNA KISS YA!

Alex: *Kills Greene immediately and instantly and cries* I have no badass rival...

Cross: ME ME ME! Choose me! :D

Alex: Oh yeah? -_-

Cross: What? I don't listen to these disgusting shits!

Alex: I love you! :D Eh-em *Cool voice ACTIVATED* I will fight you face-to-face, and I will teabag the shit out of you, fucking rival.

Cross: *Thinking* _I'm. So. Fucked__..._

* * *

Dana: *Returns from college with a poker face*

Alex: What the hell is this face? What happened? TELL ME!

Dana: *Sigh* Two boys fought over me, then appeared a third, then fourth, and then the fifth one.

Alex: Can you tell me their names?

Dana: OK.

*30 Seconds later*

Alex: Oh, okay, I should get some money. *Leaves the apartment*

Dana: I wonder what he wants from them...

*The next day*

Dana: *Returns from college frowning*

Alex: Whazzuupp? You seem angry.

Dana: Alex, don't tell you killed those five people, did you?

Alex: Oh, c'mon! I don't want you to have a boyfriend, so I killed them.

Dana: Neither do I! I want to live by myself, I ignored them, you could have at least threatened them!

Alex: Fine -_- I will threaten the others next time.

Dana: -_-' *Thinking* _I have a bad feeling about this..._

* * *

Randall: *Being captured by Alex* Gah, what is this feeling, fear that I am feeling between my legs?

Alex: Boss, this feeling is called: shi**ing in your pants.

Randall: WTF!?

* * *

Evil Alex: *Talking about Heller to his slaves* I WANNA PLAY A GAME...

Evolves: SHIT HE'S GONNA KILL US! *Run*

Evil Alex: *Uses LONGGRAB with his WhipFist and eats them* Hmmm, such yummy, maybe I won't eat dinner tonight...

* * *

Cj (Carl Johnson from GTA): And that's how cheats work in my own video game.

Alex: You think this will work with me?

Cj: I think so; try the cheat that destroys all the cars in our sight.

Alex: Hmmm *Presses the right buttons* Nothing hap-

BANG BANG BANG BANG!

Cj: Cool, it worked.

Alex: Jesus, thanks man, I have to return now *Gets out from the GTA world*

Cj: Hehe, yeah... *Thinking* _That fucking sonof a bitch killed my girlfriend, oh well, she wasn't that hot anyway, and the other girlfriend who wasted my money._

* * *

Cross: *Looks at Alex's butt* DAT ASS.

* * *

Dana: Did you ever got drunk, Mr. Heller?

Heller: Of course I did, -_- but I never did it when I became an Evolved, because I would kill and eat everyone while being drunk, did that happened with that hoodie guy?

Dana: ... *Thinking*

_Flashback_

_Alex: *After drinking sake, vodka and some beer* Ah *Blushes* Such a yummy yum *Goes drunk* Hehehehe... *Hicks*_

_Dana: Alex? o_O Oh no, don't tell me you have drank the... O_O_

_Alex: Hehehehe..._

_Dana: OH SHIT ALEX GO AND SLEEP QUICLKY!_

_Alex: NO! *Runs out of the apartment and jumps like a bishie/angel/gay hoodie* YAHOOOOOOO!_

_Dana: Holy... *Hears gunshots, missles, snipers and other weapon sounds and many helicopters and tanks* Screw you Alex and BlackWatch -_-_

_Alex: KYYAAAAAA! *Destroys everyone with TDB (Tendril Devastator Barrage) and sees from his point of view* Hmmm *All the buildings are destroyed and covered with blood, the humans and Gentek/Blackwatch's bodies have been all cut to pieces, especially the helicopters and tanks are destroyed with flames._

_Dana: Holy..._

_Alex: *Destroys more buildings, then notices Dana* Oh hheeeeeeeeeeyyyy Dannnnaaaaaaaaaa *Falls asleep*_

_Dana: I should never let him drink anything that makes him drunk..._

_End Of Flashback_

Heller: Athena? OPEN YOUR EYES BITCH!

Dana: Calm down, I was just thinking.

Heller: About what? What he do when he's drunk?

Dana: Exactly...

* * *

Alex: GAAAAAHH! OKAY, WHAT SHOULD I DO TODAY? OH I KNOW! I'M GONNA TOY WITH BLACKWATCH AND SOME HUNTERS AND-

Dana: AAAAAHHH! Alex! What iz zis shit!? D:

Alex: WHAT? I'M JUST FUCKIN' CHILLIN AND PLANIN'

Dana: The Caps Lock is on, idiot -_-

Alex: OOOOHHH! *Presses it again* Finally! My normal voice! :D I always thought why everyone was annoyed by me, I HAVE TO ANNOY DEM MOOOOOORRRE! *Jumps from the apartment*

* * *

**Dana: DID YOU CUT MY YOYOS, ALEX?!**

**Alex: Nnnooooooooo...**

**Dana: *Filled with raged***

**Alex: *Runs and is followed by Dana***

**Me: P.S: I'll be fine *Sobs* just not today, Cross, please tell them what was I gonna say. *Gets out of the room sobbing while Sabrina is comforting me***

**Cross: Ah, yes, if you know what is 'Anime' then send us an Anime that its Genre is COMEDY. The girl will have some ideas from them and will creates different ones, also, reviewing will support her more. *Hears me crying and sobbing and sighs* And maybe it would make her forget about her half-dead OTP -_-' Anyway, as I said, reviews would bring back a little of her energy...  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Me: Meh, there are Japanese words you might not know, guys, so I'll explain some to you:**

**Super Saiyan: From Dragon Ball Z, a Saiyan/Half Saiyan's hair grow fuckin' gold and spiky.**

**IT'S OVER NINE-THOUSAND!/IT'S OVER 9000: Vegeta's famous lolling line, he said it once when he saw Goku's power level for the first time.**

**Hentai: Sex/Porn**

**Yaoi: Male x Male, male love**

**Seme: Attacker, the one on top.**

**Uke: the Receiver, the one who is on the bottom.**

**Jutsu: Technique**

**Byakugan: You can see through everything with these eyes.**

**DeathNote: You write a someone's full name on the book, in 40 seconds they will have a heart attack, or you can write whatever the cause of death but it will take 6 minutes and 40 seconds, this book is completely black and the pages are white, its name on the cover.**

**Hanabi Hyuga: a female from Naruto.**

**Slenderman: a male without face and black clothes, skin is gray and always kills you as always.**

**Neji Hyuga: a male from Naruto.**

**Hinata Hyuga: a female from Naruto.**

**Raito/Light Yagami or Kira: a male from DeathNote.**

**Menma: a male from Naruto Movie: Road To Ninja.**

**Jiraya: a male from Naruto.**

**Gaara: a male from Naruto**

**Ezio: a male from Assassin's Creed Series.**

**Spiderman: I don't need to explain this guy.**

**Goku: Male from DB Series.**

**Bill: Male/Animal alien from Dragon Ball Z Battle Of The Gods.**

**Madara: A male from Naruto Seiries. Enjoy.**

* * *

Fangirls: AALLLEEEEXXXXX!

Alex: Damn, not again *Hides from fangirls for a while* It's hard to hide from them, hhhmmmmmmm...*Makes some signs in his hands combined* SHADOW CLONE JUTSUUUUU! *5 Alexes have appeared* Okay guys; do as hard as you can to distract me from fangirls until I reach the apartment! Be careful, they have the virus detector with them.

5 Alexes: *Nods and split up*

Fangirl: *Sees fake Alex but doesn't know that* AAALLLLLLEEXX!

Fake Alex: *Smirks and runs away to the military base and is turned to a soldier without being seen*

Fangirl: *Enters the base and is shot by a Blackwatch soldier*

Fake Alex (BW): *Thinking* _Bitch yeah!_

* * *

Alex: Goku, I wanna learn how to fly so that I can help fight Bill

Goku: But he's too dangerous o.o

Alex: I WANNA PROTECT EVERYONE DAMMIT!

Goku: OK...

Goku vs Bill, takes 1 hour and 45 minutes to kill him.

Alex vs Bill, one punch = KO.

Goku: Jesus thanks! :D

* * *

Bill: NOBODY CAN BEAT ME!

Goku: Hhhmmm...

Bill: Bitch! There will be no hope when it comes to ME!

Goku & Alex: Fffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

Bill: Huh?

Goku & Alex: Ssssiiiiioooooooonnnn-

Bill: HEY!

Goku & Alex: HHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *Put their index fingers on each other's' fingers, their shining blocked Bill's eyes*

Bill: WHAT DA FUCK?!

?: I'm neither Goku NOR Alex, I. Am. SUPER GOKALEX!

Bill: You know, I think it's better to disappear from this world...*Blows himself up*

* * *

Hanabi (From Naruto): Hey you!

Dana: Huh? Oho! It's the little cute Hanabi! :D But, why did you come to my world? o_o

Hanabi: I wanna ask you, since you are an adult, my sister and cousin are talking each other in way, I don't like my cousin with my sister, but he smiles at her always, what do they do when I and dad aren't home?

Dana: Are they in love?

Hanabi: Kinda...

Dana: You're right, they are having hentai.

Hanabi: O_O *Faints*

Dana: Dammit *Puts a cup of water on Hanabi's head as she wakes up* Are you okay? My idea just scared you.

Hanabi: NO WAY THEY WILL, HOW CAN THEY DO THAT?

Dana: Did they ever hug more than 3 times?

Hanabi: More than 10 times.

Dana: That's true; they are attracted to each other, are they at home alone?

Hanabi: Y-yes, d-don't tell me-

Dana: They are doing it for sure.

Hanabi: NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*The next day*

Hanabi: *Visits Dana again*

Dana: Heeeeyyy! ;) So, they weren't doing it, were they?

Hanabi: Thank you for telling me, they WERE doing it, I can still hear them, DAMMIT! MOANING, SCREAMING THE NAMES, SAYING 'IT FEELS SO GOOD' GAH! I CAN'T! I CAAAAANNN'TT! *Faints*

Dana: -_-'

* * *

Cross: I'm the best non-infected person in Prototype!

Dana: Bitch please, I wasn't appearing much lately, BUT I AM MORE FAVORITED THAN YOU!

Cross: *Sits alone in his room crying in the corner* I'll never be happy again... (Sorry Cross, I still love you)

* * *

Alex: DANA! Do you know what should you do instead of sitting in the computer?

Dana: What?

Alex: GOING BACK TO THE KITCHEN AND MAKING ME A DAMN SANDWICH!

Dana: Go to your room, Alex, you are drunk.

* * *

Dana: OMG! I love Menma from Road To Ninja so much! w

Alex: You love an evil Naruto and not _my evil_ _mine!?_

Dana: Shut up! I don't fucking believe about Menma being the Evil Naruto! He is Naruto and Sasuke's SON! w

Alex: *Thinking* _An addicted Yaoi fangirl... -_-_

* * *

Dana: Alex, who should I make the Seme and Uke?

Alex: Huh?

Dana: I'm telling my friend a SasuNaru Yaoi story, she is a Yaoi lover.

Alex: Uh, make Naruto the Seme and Sasuke the Uke.

Dana: Why Sasuke the Uke? Why not Seme?

Alex: Duh, it's Sas-UKE. Sasuke.

Dana: Alex, YOU ARE A GENIUS! *Thinking* _I see what you did there, bro._

* * *

Spiderman: *Amazed by Ezio's Parkour* Wow, you have some agility there.

Ezio: Because I keep training until I become the best free-runner ;)

Alex: Yeah yeah, keep talking, bitch, can you ever climb a mountain in less than 5 minutes?

Ezio: ...

* * *

Alex: NEJI! I wanna borrow Neji for once.

Hinata: What do you want from my cousin?

Alex: I wanna learn the Byakugan!

Neji: Okay.

*Two hours later*

Neji: Can you do it now?

Alex: Wait, BYAKUGAN!

Neji: Can you see through things?

Alex: Yep, thanks! ;D I have to go now. See ya. *Opens a hole and enters it to the Prototype world*

*Meanwhile, Dana is taking a bath*

Alex: *Uses Byakugan and stalks Dana* She's so hhoooooooooott!

Dana: *Hears something* Huh? Who's there? *Walks to the door naked* Is someone sneaking?

Alex: O_O *Runs but falls*

Dana: *Opens the door and sees Alex* Alex, YYOOOUUUUUUU PPEERRRVVVEEEEEEEEEERRRTTTT!

Alex: I can explain!

Dana: SAY IT!

Alex: I can explain! Well, I can't...

Dana: AAALLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX! *Goes Super Saiyan*

Alex: IT'S OVER NINE-THOUSAND! I'm. So. Fucked. Period.

* * *

Alex: I'm sorry for becoming evil, Dana! I was in a party and Heller woman was there! The last slice of pizza was mine but Heller's bitch just ate it AND I BECOME FUCKING PSYCHOTIC!

Heller: Wait, if my wife was in the party, then what happened to Amaya?

Alex: Your woman sent her to Gentek to take care of her without you knowing about that...

Heller: THAT SLUT! *Destroys his wife's tombstone/grave*

Amaya: Why are you destroying mommy's tombstone, daddy?

Heller: The graveyard was going to be destroyed and will be built with new one, so I destroyed her tombstone because I love her ^_^

Amaya: Aawwwww :3

Inner Heller: _Because I hate that ugly whore..._

* * *

Dana: *Discovers fandom of Alex and Ezio/Desmond/Altair* Such sexyyyyyyyyyy Yaaaaaoooiiiiiiii...

Alex: *Returns to the apartment* Dana, I'M BACK!

Dana: o_o *Tries to close fandoms and Firefox/Google chrome but it's not responding* DAMMIT!

Alex: Daaannnnaaaaaaaa 3 *Walks to Dana's door*

Dana: C'mon!

Alex: *Opens the door* DANA! What the, why the computer is destroyed by a stick? o_O

Dana: Hehehehe ^^' I can't get the virus off the computer so I destroyed it and decided to get a new one ^_^

Alex: Oh, okay.

Dana: *Thinking* _That was clone, phew_..._ x.x_

* * *

Alex: Hey Cross! Let's destroy planets! :D

Cross: Ok, shall we pick Pluto?

Alex: Fuck Pluto! It's not even a real planet!

Dana: *Breaks the wall with anger by punching it*

Alex: D-Dana? What's all about that rage?

Dana: DON'T EVER TALK BAD ABOUT PLUTO, IT'S STILL A PLANET AND ALWAYS WILL! *Holds Zoro's three swords* Don't ever hurt Pluto's feelings!

Alex: O_O RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

* * *

Dana: ALEX, PLEASE! LET'S GO BACK, SLENDER IS HERE! PLEASE LET US GO BACK TO THE APARTMENT!

Alex: You really think I give a shit?

Dana: HE WILL KILL ME! *Sees Slenderman* GGAAAAAHHHH! *Faints*

Alex: Dammit, Dana -_-' *Holds her and looks at Slenderman* Hhhhmmmmmmm, interesting, you seem to have some pretty balls inside you.

Slenderman: Wait, are you Alex Mercer?

Alex: Yes...?

Slenderman: Finally! I was searching for you for months, my children wanted to see you and take your autographs! :D

Alex: WHAT!? SLENDER MAN HAS CHILDREN!?

Dana: *Wakes up all of the sudden* SLENDER MAN HAS CHILDREN!?

Heller: *Comes from nowhere* SLENDER MAN HAS CHILDREN!?

Elizabeth Greene: *Comes from nowhere* SLENDER MAN HAS CHILDREN!?

The whole entire universe: SLENDER MAN HAS FUCKING CHILDREN!?

* * *

Dana: *Pushes Alex to Karen Parker* Fine, take him, I don't need him anymore.

Karen: *Pushes him back to Dana* Neither do I, I'm already dating Cross.

Dana: *Pushes him back* Have a threesome!

Karen: Eeewwwww, no! *Pushes him back*

Dana: Dammit! JUST HAVE HIM! *Pushes him back*

Karen NO! *Pushes him back*

Dana: DATE BOTH! *Pushes him back*

Karen: I'M NOT A SLUT! *Pushes him back*

Alex: Wweeeeee! :D

* * *

Alex: *Kills people and hears them screaming like bitches* Ah, such lovely screams, I never felt so alive!

Gentek soldier: *Comes back with a tank and helicopters with group of super soldier*

Alex: O_O AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! *Runs away like a little bitch*

* * *

Alex: Hmmm, I wonder why I can't eat a super soldier in the Prototype 1 game... *Eats super soldier*

Super Soldier: FFFFUUUUUUUUUUU-

Alex: Hmm, not bad! :D *Eats eats eats* Guh, I need more, it's much more yummier than people, I think I'll be full today, oh wait, I never stop being hungry...

* * *

Dana: Alex, can you do me a request?

Alex: Yeah, what is it?

Dana: I want you to threat Masashi Kishimoto SO THAT HE BETTER FUCKING REVIVE NEJI AND JIRAYA BACK!

Alex: Oooookkkaaaaaaaayyyyy... o.o

* * *

Alex: *Writes the names of people on the deathnote*

Dana: *Gets in and sees Alex writing in Kira's DeathNote using the name ROBERT CROSS* Um, Alex, why are you killing people using Cross's name?

Alex: I had fight about who has the hottest voice actor, I showed him my voice actors of both Prototype 1 and 2, but he laughed and surprised me of his own sexy voice actor, so I am getting my lovely revenge.

Dana: -_-'

Alex: I should kill Kira too and take the DeathNote from that kid.

Dana: Isn't it better if you call him "Raito" or "Light"?

Alex: Hmm, I'm gonna go for Raito.

Dana: And don't kill anyone without my permission.

Alex: Yeah yeah, AS you wish.

Dana: *Walks away*

Alex: Hehehehehe *Writes people's names on DeathNote and kills kills kills*

* * *

Alex: *After watching a Naruto episode* Hhhmmmm, BELIEVE IT! Hey, interesting! :D Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it-

Dana: SHUD AP!

Alex: ... *Whispers* Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it-

Dana: SHUD AP!

Alex: ...*Thinking* _Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it Believe it-_

Dana: Alex, you either get the fuck out of my room or either SHUT YOUR FUCKING MIND AND MOUTH!

* * *

Random guy: You can take 1 person and a band with you to space, who will be?

Alex: Hhhmmmm, Justin Beiber and One Direction. *Travels to space with Beiber and 1D, destroys the ship and ends up dead in space with Beiber and 1D*

Gundam wing machine: NNNOOOOOOOOO!

Alex Fans: Alex, why?

Fangirls/Fanboys: ALEX!

Barack Obama: *Sobs* And that's how the good guy Alex disappeared, while the evil scumbag Alex appeared...

* * *

Dana: *Walks up behind a sleepy Alex and thinking* _It's about time, big bro*_

Everybody else: *Watching*

Dana: *Pulls off Alex's hoodie* O_O

Everybody: *Gasp* OoO

Dana: *Touches Alex's bold head while thinking* _Holy crap, it's soft enough..._

Alex: *Wakes up and breaks the wall and runs away*

Dana: He knew... ._.

* * *

Madara: NOBODY CAN BEAT ME!

Naruto: Hey, Madara, look what I've brought for you! *Brings Alex Mercer*

Madara: ...I was just kidding, I'll return to my death.

Naruto: Nope, kick his ass, Alex.

Alex: OK *Punches Madara, Madara turns K.O.*

Madara: WHAT HAVE I DONE?!

Naruto: You killed Neji, dickhead.

* * *

**Me: That's the last update I'm gonna do this month, I'm sorry guys, I won't update for a month, because I will do the finals of school, everything ends in June 1, and if I enough time, I can either start a new chapter in June 2 or in June 7, who knows? See ya, I hope you enjoyed everything, please review, it helps a lot ^_^ Note: Don't get angry at anything I wrote, they would never say anything like that, so be calm.  
**


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